Band 6.0 model answer
216 wordsIn the past, usually only the father worked and the mother stayed at home with the children. Today in many families both parents work full time. In my opinion, this change has more advantages than disadvantages.
Firstly, two salaries give the family a much better life. The parents can pay for a bigger flat, for good food, for extra lessons and for holidays. If one parent loses his job, the family still has money from the other parent, so the situation is safer.
Secondly, it is good for women. Before, many women stayed at home even if they studied at university, and they were completely dependent on their husband. Now a woman can use her education, build her career and have her own money, which is much more fair.
On the other hand, there is one big problem: time. When both parents come home at seven o'clock, they are tired, and they have only one or two hours with their children before bedtime. Small children spend all day in a kindergarten or with a grandmother, and some of them feel that their parents are always busy.
In conclusion, although working parents have less time for their family, I believe this development is positive because it gives financial security and gives women the same opportunities as men.
Why this is Band 6.0
- A verdict is given and both sides are covered, but the essay treats childcare as a mother's issue rather than a household one.
- Cohesion is clear and mechanical.
- Vocabulary is adequate with repetition of parents, children and work.
- Sentences are largely simple and compound with limited variety.