Band 6.0 model answer
227 wordsSome people think that children learn more from their grandparents than from clubs and lessons after school. In my opinion, both are useful, but time with the family is more important.
Firstly, grandparents give children a lot of attention. Parents today are very busy with work, and in a club there is one teacher for fifteen or twenty children. A grandmother can sit with one child, listen to all his stories and answer all his questions. This attention helps the child to feel safe and loved.
Secondly, grandparents teach traditions and family history. They tell stories about the past, about the village where the family lived, and about relatives the child never met. Children cannot learn these things at school or in a sport club, and if grandparents do not tell them, this information disappears forever.
On the other hand, organised activities also have benefits. A child can learn to swim, to play the piano or to play football, and these skills need a professional teacher. In addition, in a club the child meets other children of the same age and learns to work in a team, which is important for the future.
In conclusion, I agree that time with grandparents is more valuable, because attention and family knowledge are things that only the family can give. However, the best situation is when a child has both.
Why this is Band 6.0
- Both options are discussed and an opinion is given, but the essay describes each rather than comparing them directly.
- Cohesion is clear and mechanical; the position is reserved largely for the conclusion.
- Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with children, grandparents and activities repeated.
- Sentence structures are simple and compound with limited variety.