Band 6.0 model answer
236 wordsSome people say that ordinary people cannot reduce pollution and only the government and big companies can change this problem. I do not completely agree with this idea, because I think both sides are important.
Firstly, it is true that governments and companies have more power. Factories produce a huge amount of smoke and waste every day, and one person cannot stop this. Only the government can make laws about factories and give them punishment if they pollute the air. Also, big companies decide how they produce their products and how they transport them, so their decisions affect the environment much more than the decision of one family.
However, I do not think that ordinary people can do nothing. If millions of people decide to use public transport instead of their cars, the air in the city will be cleaner. If people buy products with less plastic, companies will see this and they will change their products. So the choices of people are also important and they can change the market.
In addition, people vote in elections. If citizens care about the environment, they will choose politicians who promise to protect it. This means that the action of the government also depends on ordinary people in the end.
In conclusion, I agree that governments and large companies have the biggest responsibility, but I disagree that individuals can do little. Both must work together to reduce pollution.
Why this is Band 6.0
- The position is clear and both paragraphs are relevant, but the ideas are stated rather than developed — the second body paragraph makes the same point twice in different words.
- Cohesion depends entirely on front-of-sentence connectors (Firstly, However, In conclusion), which is typical of Band 6.
- Vocabulary is adequate but repetitive: pollution and people recur where a higher band would vary the expression.
- Sentences are mostly simple and compound, and the few complex ones follow one pattern.