Band 6.0 model answer
257 wordsSome people believe that criminals who commit small crimes should work for their community without payment instead of going to prison for a few months. In my opinion, this is a better solution for most of these cases.
Firstly, a short time in prison does not change a person. Three or six months is not enough time for education or for a professional programme, so the prisoner comes out with the same problems that he had before. Moreover, in prison he meets more dangerous criminals and he can learn bad things from them, so sometimes he becomes worse than before.
Secondly, prison destroys the normal life of the person. He loses his job, maybe he loses his flat because he cannot pay the rent, and his family suffers without his salary. When he comes out, he has no work and no money, so it is easy for him to commit a crime again. Community service does not create these problems because the person continues to live at home and to work.
In addition, the society gets a real benefit. The offender cleans parks, paints buildings or helps old people, so he pays back to the people he hurt. This is more useful than sitting in a cell, and it also costs much less money for the government.
In conclusion, I think unpaid community work is better than a short prison sentence, because it does not destroy the life of the offender and it gives something back to society. However, this should not be used for violent criminals.
Why this is Band 6.0
- A clear opinion with relevant reasons, but the ideas stay general — the essay says prison does not help without showing what happens to the person inside.
- Cohesion is correct and mechanical, with a connector opening each paragraph.
- Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with criminals, prison and society repeating.
- Sentences are mostly simple and compound; complex forms are correct but repetitive.