Band 6.0 model answer
237 wordsPeople disagree about how medical services should be paid for. Some think the government must pay for everything, while others believe rich people should pay for their own treatment. In my opinion, the state should provide healthcare for all citizens.
On the one hand, health is not a normal product. A person cannot decide when he will become ill, and serious treatment costs thousands of dollars, which most families do not have. If a poor person cannot pay, he will not go to the doctor early, and later his illness becomes much more serious and much more expensive. A system paid by taxes protects everybody from this situation.
On the other hand, when rich people pay privately, they bring extra money into the health sector. They also do not use the public hospitals, so the queues for other patients become shorter. Furthermore, some people say it is their own money and they should be free to spend it on a better service if they want.
However, there is also a problem with private hospitals. The best doctors often leave the public system because the salary is higher in private clinics, so the quality of public hospitals becomes worse.
In conclusion, I believe that the state should pay for healthcare, because everybody must have the same chance to be treated. Private clinics can exist, but the government must make sure that public hospitals still have enough good doctors.
Why this is Band 6.0
- Both views are covered and an opinion is given, but each side is described rather than weighed against the other.
- Cohesion is clear and mechanical, with the position arriving in the conclusion.
- Vocabulary is adequate with repetition of health, money and people.
- Sentences are largely simple and compound with some accurate complex forms.