Band 6.0 model answer
216 wordsPeople have different opinions about government spending. Some think that the government must protect animals which can disappear, and others think that this money must help people who have problems today.
On the one hand, there are many people who need help immediately. In many countries families do not have enough food, hospitals do not have modern equipment, and some children cannot go to school. When a government spends millions on a programme for one rare bird, it is difficult to explain this to a family which cannot buy medicine for their child.
On the other hand, protecting animals is also very important. When a species disappears, it disappears forever, and nobody can bring it back. Animals are also part of nature, and if one species dies, this can create problems for other animals and plants. For example, if bees disappear, many plants cannot grow and people will not have enough food.
In addition, some medicines come from plants and animals in nature. If we destroy them, maybe we lose a cure for a serious illness in the future.
In my opinion, both are important, but I think helping people should be first, because human life is the most valuable thing. However, the government should also protect nature, because in the end this also protects people.
Why this is Band 6.0
- Both views are covered and an opinion is given, but it appears mainly in the conclusion rather than guiding the essay.
- Cohesion is clear and mechanical: On the one hand, On the other hand, In my opinion.
- Vocabulary is adequate, with animals, people and money repeated throughout.
- Sentence forms are mainly simple and compound with some correct complex clauses.