Band 6.0 model answer
247 wordsFamous football players and other sportsmen receive enormous salaries, sometimes millions of dollars every year. Many people believe this is not fair because they do not help society as much as other professions. I partly agree with this opinion.
On the one hand, it is difficult to accept that a footballer earns in one week what a nurse earns in ten years. Doctors save lives, teachers educate the future generation, and firefighters risk their own life for other people. If we compare the real benefit for society, these professions are much more important than kicking a ball, so the difference in salary looks completely unfair.
On the other hand, we must remember that sport is a big business. Millions of people buy tickets, watch television and buy the shirts of their favourite team. All this money comes into the club, so the club can pay a high salary. The player is the reason people pay, so it is logical that he receives a part of this money.
In addition, the career of an athlete is very short. He can play until thirty-five years old, and one serious injury can finish everything in one moment. A doctor works until sixty-five, so he has many more years to earn.
In conclusion, I understand why people think these salaries are too high, but the money comes from the public who love sport. The real problem is not that athletes earn too much, but that nurses and teachers earn too little.
Why this is Band 6.0
- A clear position with relevant reasons on both sides, but the argument stays at the level of comparison — the essay says doctors save lives without explaining why pay differs.
- Cohesion is correct and mechanical, with connectors opening each paragraph.
- Vocabulary is adequate with repetition of money, players and society.
- Sentences are largely simple and compound with some correct complex forms.